Weekly update: 22 Oct 08

We are currently facing a massive "hippie" onslaught, due to the upcoming election, so the situation is heated. Much to tell...


I was working out of town this week... going to have to miss out on the operation. This is one of the problems with battling the hippies, we have jobs (unless B.O. wins). The chances of my attendance this week were low. I don't know if it was a curse or a blessing, but the job we were on, needed 1 more day before General Judd and I could complete our assigned task. We would be returning to our respective CP's ( Command Posts... home) for 1 day before returning to the job. Well, this gives me time to piss of some hippies!
I quickly checked the Internet (as is my SOP... standard operating procedure) for local peace creep updates, to see if they have changed time or venue for their weekly assault on humanity as we know it in our great nation. It appears that the peace creeps have issued a "hippie call to arms" to face off against the "belligerent" McCain supporters. Copied text from their website follows...



Dunedin Peace CorneringEvery Wednesday 4:30-6:00 pmWinner of "Best of the Bay" by Creative Loafing for Best Weekly Protest!
Pro-war, John McCain supporters have been showing up lately -- obviously, their frustration level is growing due to the crashing war economy and the inevitable defeat of their presidential candidate. So, if you can make it out these next few weeks, that'd be great. If you have a video camera, that'd be nice, too (the McCain people are pretty belligerent). Join the demonstration every Wednesday, 4:30-6:00 pm, Edgewater Drive in front of the Marina Park in Dunedin (map). Bring your sign, or use one of ours. For more information contact Melissa or Kim.



It's a hackneyed and tired tactic to bring cameras, incite your opposition to violence, take video, and use the edited footage for your own propaganda. It won't work against us, hippies... we're on to you.
After reading their post, I knew that they were upset with the whole "McCain" thing. This is their weakness, and this is where I will strike. I attach a " McCain / Palin" sign to my "guidon" (My "flag"... ask a Marine, if you don't get it. If you don't know a Marine... you should .
I set up my fighting hole (the Army has "fox holes", but as I understand... foxes hide in their holes, hence the term... fox hole. Marines fight from their holes, hence the term... fighting hole. Sorry Army guys, I just can't resist the inter-service rivalry gags. I still show you love, brothers and sisters!
I set up in the exact same spot that I have been setting up in, for the past 15 months. A two man unit of peace creeps deploys in my direction, they split up. "Tough Guy" and "Bong Water" flank me on either side of my post. I fear not their maneuver, as I have dealt with their vitriol in the past, and this is nothing new. I call the one aggressor "Bong Water" because he sounds just like Tommy Chong, and actually looks a little bit like him, but without all of the "genius baggage" associated with Tommy Chong, and I once told him that he's not supposed to drink the bong water. "Tough Guy will earn his name soon.
I will post some of the more aggressive "challenges" that I have been victim to, on another page... stay tuned!
The hippies send out a "suicide bomber" to the McCain front. An elderly gentleman who seems to have trouble walking. He stands in the center of the McCain camp holding a large sign encouraging our retreat from Iraq. The McCain camp quickly sends the suicide bomber back to his coven of "Code Pinkos" and "St. Pete For Peace" creeps. The hippies have begun their attack.
I have brought along my McCain-Palin yard sign to help fend off the hippies, but one sign would not be enough. The McCain camp supplies me with additional ammo... about 6 more yard signs. I begin setting them in a line in a well spread pattern, essentially creating a mine field perimeter, impenetrable to peace creeps, which no hippie wants to be caught in, for fear that they may be viewed by the passersby as an evil conservative or a member of the vast right wing conspiracy.
I approached the challenger on my left flank (Tough Guy). I placed a satchel charge (McCain sign) directly in front of his feet. Tough Guy senses the impending detonation, and returns to the safety of his rank and file. Wow, these signs are like wolves bane!
Now to fend off the attack from my right flank... Bong Water. The satchel charge worked well in the first fire fight, I'll employ the same tactic again. Bong Water is more stubborn than Tough Guy, he merely steps in front of the sign. I move the sign in front of him again. He moves in front of the sign again. Bong Water quips "I can do this all day, man". "Well, so can I, man." It's childish, I know, but it's fun! Bong Water ups the ante. He rips my sign from the ground, throws it down, and lobs one of his verbal grenades "it's illegal to erect a permanent political sign on a public roadway". The grenade was a dud... again with the law.
(see "weekly update 15 Oct 08 " . Click here to see how our enemy attempts to violate our first amendment rights by using the local Sheriff's department for support. A surprisingly fascist approach for these so called "peace" lovers who incessantly declare our President a nazi. An astonishing amount of hypocracy.)
I inform my counterpart that this is not a permanent structure, it's a static display. And who are you anyway... Johnny Cochran? The contest continues, I replace the sign, he rips it out. After several volleys, I receive reinforcement. Jodie breaks ranks with her unit (the McCain camp) to back me up. American flag in one hand, McCain sign in the other, she joins the fire fight and takes the point so that I may return to my position. Bong Water is unable to defend himself against a strong woman, and retreats. However, Tough Guy resurfaces to take his place. Now is the time that Tough guy earns his nickname. He argues with Jodie for a short time, then bellows "If you were a guy, I'd kick your A*$!" before retreating again. Very peaceful, sir.
This will be an interesting battle. It is now after 1700 hrs (5:00PM), and the rest of OPOY arrives in rapid succession. Tom, Cutter, Mrs. America, Mel, Sam, Fred, and Brooklyn (who was still, understandably, upset about the 9/11 conspiracy freak (mentioned in the 15 oct update)with the upside down American flag on his sign, from last week ). Mel's banner reinforces the McCain minefield. Tough Guy does not appreciate Brooklyn's repeated passes on his Harley with the U.S. flag, and attempts yet another probe of our line. He passes in front of all of us with a vindictive stare. Mrs America takes aim and fires... "So you like to beat up women, hunh?... Tough Guy!" The well placed round dispatches the enemy to the end of our formation, and beyond. Brooklyn begins the "my sign in front of your sign" game. I thought that they would go all the way to Clearwater Beach, until Tough Guy redeployed to the other side of the street, about 50 meters south of the entire battlefield. Brooklyn returned, hopped on his bike, and began another victorious parade in front of the battle line.
Jodie has remained in our formation, but her daughter (12 yrs. old) was still holding ground with the rest of the McCain Camp. One of the hippies (haven't really come up with a good name for him yet. For now, we'll call him "Baby Killer") takes on a "one on one" confrontation with Jodie's daughter. Due to the traffic noise, it is hard to decipher the entire argument, but it ended with her "sniper round" reply... "I'm only 12, and I'm smarter than you!... " Nice shot!"
An Obama supporter wielding a "change" sign, attempts to infiltrate our ranks. She begins her onslaught by facing off with Brooklyn, and calling him an "old white guy". Well, this chick is whiter than a fish belly, and remembers the downfall of the buggy whip and gas lamp industry, so what's her point? Mrs. America pointed out the beauty of this pathetic assault, the fact that she ("Fish Belly") had (on the reverse side if her Obama sign) a hand drawn slogan... "imagine (and then the "peace symbol)", but she had not carried the vertical line to the bottom of the circle, so she had effectively drawn a Mercedes Benz logo. Her ignorance had provided us with great laughter, and we asked her if she thought that Obama would give everyone who didn't already have one, a Mercedes. From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs. And we all need a Mercedes!
The sun was beginning its evening performance. Soon the horizon would be ablaze with a host of brilliant colors and back lit clouds. It was time to succumb to the waning traffic. We load up our gear and head to the parking lot. As we chat with old friends, and make some new ones, "Baby Killer" approaches his vehicle. He somehow cannot resist squeezing off one more round at his wily 12 year old antagonist. This after action threat was met with a barrage of fire from our triumphant unit... "why don't you pick on someone your own size", "If you're trying to start a battle of wits, maybe you should set your sights a little lower than a 12 year old girl!" A menacing glare from the hippie as he retreats to lick his wounds, and ponder his verbiage for his next fire fight with the young lass.
Another successful mission.
As a side note, I want to thank the McCain camp for the assistance in the past few weeks. I also would like you to continue to join us weekly, after the election. Our original mission is to face off against the anti-American supporters of defeat in the war on terror, and as soon as the election is over, we will return to that mission and invite your continued support. I have a gut feeling that our enemy will be joined by Obama supporters this week. We need ALL hands on deck this week. The time and day will be the same, Wednesday from 4:30 until 6:00. Please bring friends. A map to our location can be found here.
I'm Captain America, and I approved this message.